One year ago today....

• 7:30 am
  As I am folding laundry on the floor of the den (folding laundry before work should have been my first clue!), I have my first contraction. I am unsure that it is **real** and go have a few bites of Cheerios.
  
• 8:00 am
  I have my second contraction and am lying on the living room floor thinking that this must be labor...right? Is this a contraction? I tell Grady to go to work and teach his first period, find a sub, and come back during his planning period at 9:30. This is sure to last most of the day. No need to get ourselves in a tizzy. I can handle an hour alone.
  Pass me the crack pipe!
  
• 8:10 am
  I call my boss and say I will be late or not in at all. I *may* be in labor.
  
• 8:15 am
  I call my mother as I sit on the toilet and say....I think this may be it. She is excited and I promise to call her before we to to the hospital.
  Sorry mom....I would have called if I could have. The next time she hears from me, a sweet cry is in the background.
  
• 8:25 am
  The vomiting and diarreah begin. I call Grady and beg him to come home. I am most definitely in labor. I need him NOW!!!! I try to time my contractions, but they are coming too fast and I can't concentrate. I start to panic. Holy shit. If this is what early labor feels like, I must have been on crack to think I could do this medicine free. What could transition feel like?
  
• 8:45 am
  Grady arrives home to find me half naked on the bathroom floor with a trashcan full of puke next to me. He calls the doctors office and they ask how far apart my contractions are. He doesn't know. I don't know. But they hear me in the bathroom and tell him to get me to the hospital NOW.
  
• For the next 15 minutes
  Grady tries to get everything to the car and to get me dressed. I don't want to move and he has to dress a limp body on the floor. I refuse to get up and go to the car. I just want to lie on the nice cold bathroom floor. I have always been a rational person!
• 9:15 am
  Poor Grady.....he is not a large man and I am not a small girl....especially in my "expectant" state! He "carries" me to the car.....I have a contraction on the front lawn and moon the 'hood. Klassy. Very very Klassy!
  A side note...Grady dresses me in a cotton dress....just a simple gray sweatshirt material frock with a tie in the back. It is gigantic....and has a tendency to fly up if I find myself on the floor or the lawn as it may be! But...oh it is comfy. Good thing, because I wear it through everything.
• 9:30 am
  We pull up to the maternity ward. WHY THE HELL DID IT TAKE 15 MINTUES TO GET HERE! We live less than 2 miles from the hospital. This is not the time to take a Sunday drive! We park in 5 minute parking. Our car doesn't move until Lia is born. Grady "carries" me into admissions. I tell them my name and they start asking me questions. WHY DID I PREREGITER IF YOU ARE GOING TO ASK ME AGAIN IF ALL THESE FIELDS ARE CORRECT! NO I DIDN'T MOVE. NOTHING HAS CHANGED! Oh course...they think I am just another new mom freaking out at the beginning of labor and take their sweet time. A contraction hits.....I am on the floor leaning over the chair....once again mooning people. The entire admissions waiting room sees my fanny as Grady does counterpressure on my back. The nurse begins to see that I may be serious here. They let me finish the contraction and wheel me back to admissions.
  
• 9:35 am
  They hook me up to a monitor and I tell them I feel like I need to go to the bathroom They give each a funny look and decide they might want to check me. They check and I am 8 cm dilated. They call my midwife as I continue to barf.
  
• 9:45 am
  Vicki, my midwife and eternal friend, arrives. She has such a calming voice; the panic fades. They wheel me up to L&D. My favorite shoes disappear.
  [Ok...totally cheesy, but when they tell me I am an 8....I say to myself "I can do this, I know I can do this without meds." On my way to the delivery room, I chant "Proud Warrior Mama" to myself, a phrase that my yoga instructor chanted throughout class for the past 6 months. I feel incredibly calm and powerful.]
  
• 10:00 am
  We arrive at L&D. They check me again. I am at ten cm. The pressure in my back is intense.
  Grady looks at Vicki and says "When would be a good time to get our bags?" Vicki looks at him and says "Not now!" He panics remembering the camera??? She says "GOOOOOOOOOOO!" And he sprints out of the hospital to the car....still in 5 minute parking...opps! They give me counter pressure....I wait to push for him to return.
  
• 10:10?? am
  The pushing begins. The story gets a bit slow her folks...... I push and I push. But I don't know how to push and I am terrified to poo on the table. Finally....I admit that I am scared and Vicki looks at me and says it doesn't matter and I need to push. I begin to really push.
  
• Tick Tock
  Still pushing. At some point, I swear, someone pours hot lava on my crotch. I tell them that I cannot do it and they assure me that yes....I can and in fact, I no longer have any choice in the matter.
  
• 11:09 am (Yes, my labor only lasted 3 hours 39 minutes!)
  And finally....at 11:09, the joy of my life arrives!!! Lia Juleen enters the world hollaring. Grady tears up and says "She has your eyes!"

Watch the video!

And 1 year later:
Check out the picture gallery!